Wednesday, January 25, 2006


Shooting Stars Posted by Picasa

Giving birth is wild. I gave birth for the first time about a year and a half ago. I can already feel the cringes in the minds of those who read this and for good reason. People don't talk much about it. We're all used to the paradoxes of being human: Civilized, cultured, reflective and sometimes elegant, while still deficating, urinating and fornicating on a daily basis. But giving birth occurs much less often and only to half the population, therefore we just can't get used to it. Wild animals. Infant cries. Pain, pain, and more pain.

To all you ladies out there who have yet to birth a child, I'm gonna let you in on a secret: despite the fine drawings and diagrams you'll find in all the various books on birthing,- despite the wide array of birthing positions and techniques available- the fact is that giving birth is WILD. It is its own thing and it has control over your body. And the infant, the infant... giving birth is both holy and dreadful, in my humble opinion. I wish all the books wouldn't make it seem so ordinary, understandable, controllable. It's not, it's different and you will be too after you've gone through it. It's like the galaxy itself decides it wants something of you and begins to churn - you.

I'm expecting my second this summer. I don't dread giving birth again,- I look forward to it. It turned me inside out and left me feeling battered,- but it also did two other things: It brought me closer to nature and the cosmos, and it brought me closer to my child. Holding the child and feeling its flesh after nearly a year of living with it growing inside of you is all that the birth proccess isn't: It is light and loving.
Shooting stars divide
black sky and night

Between folds of space
fruits of new design
appear

Everything is bursting
with the unknown
between folds of space
identities ripen

From black night and emptiness

New fruits grow the universe.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Poetry is old-fashioned. Don't you think? I love Rainer Maria Rilke's poetry. Emily Dickinson is awe-inspiring. Sylvia Plath could also be. Kenneth Patchen.... But that was a long time ago. Poetry today isn't allowed such luxerious themes and subtle developments toward grandiose visions or experiences. Poetry today is about other things. Deconstruction, cold musings or observations. Poetry is un-cool, so poets have to write poetry that doesn't seem like poetry in order to gain accept. The deconstruction began beautifully, with Allen Ginsberg who still had a vision to deconstruct, so that in the end we were left with his view of a world living and strange which he grappled with but which didn't seem to grapple much with him. But, as time passed, it seems poets have forgotten that deconstruction involves an original construction- they need something to deconstruct- a vision or experience of the world that is overpowering, at least to the poets themselves.

Visions are out of fashion. Amazingness is also out of fashion. Things are fucked is in. Deconstructing the fucked up world which everyone can understand. Well, I miss poetry. Men and women who sulked and hid for many years behind personal obsessions and overwhelming experiences of being alive.

If anyone out there knows of present-day poetry that I might like or that has moved them, I'd love to hear about it!!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Eve and the snake. The image fascinates me, not because I'm interested in the Fall of Man or sin or temptaion, but because a woman being entranced by a snake into eating an apple from the Tree of Knowledge which her father bid her stay away from, for me is mesmerizing. It's so poetic. She can't help it, the snake made her do it...but how? With it's eyes, with it's mouth? Or with the unseen. That's what gets me, the unseen. She's captivated by what she sees, but she doesn't see a snake, or even an apple...she sees what can't be seen and yet what was shown to her, and the snake bid her to eat of the apple so that she could continue to see.

Did it work? Do we see? Well, we have come a long way from the Garden of Eden. My question to my readers: have you ever seen anything that can't be seen? Heard anything that can't be heard? Experienced something that doesn't fit into the world as we know it? I'd like to hear about it.
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